have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
