I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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