that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
