either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize