New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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