The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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