is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
