She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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