I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
