So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
