I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
