id be glad to
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
