He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
