Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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