what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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