You really coming over, don't trick.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
