Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
