You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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