just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
