um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
