i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
