I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize