where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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