Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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