So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
