All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize