sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
nutella sex= disaster
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize