omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You're a waste of cheezeits
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
