Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Girls should come with a carfax report
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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