oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Are we still banned from the library?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
