Someone shit on the floor
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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