Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
