girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
