Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
