I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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