omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
