i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
