super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you never un-have a 4some
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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