Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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