Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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