i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize