A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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