Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm always down for nudity.
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