He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
