I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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