I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.