He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips