He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.