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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives

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  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land

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• (650): View more from California

  So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT

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