Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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