She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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