so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How external is "for external use only"?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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