Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Acid is not a monday night drug
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
