we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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