youre lurking in front of me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i would punch a child for taco bell
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
