Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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