i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
