mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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