Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize