btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
