Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
