therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
