ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
