yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
high people should be assigned attendants
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
