I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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