People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
