omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just had sex on a roof
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize