we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
